Art & Life of SwarDrawS

This week found me falling into the same pitaful funk I had last week only I didn't have anything stressful at the time.

Actually this week started out with an all day training on communication. I was feeling less stress about that than I was over the animation job I mentioned in my last post.

In this class I found out nothing new. I am a introvert but so seems most of CN. It was basically divided up in 4 quandrants, Extrovert/Thinker, Extrovert/Feeler, Introvert/Feeler (me) and Introvert/Thinker. I had a goodly amount of Introvert/Thinker in me too. My boss had the same score as me as well.

They reassigned the seats by your "color" and I was next to Dan (which I often felt was very similar to me in temperment). On the other side was Jim, the guy who shares the same start day with me. I was a little surprised cause I would figure he was an extrovert. Then there was Tim next to him which was really a surprise, I would call him a Extrovert/Thinker (opposite on the wheel). Later he told me he just filled in the answers with no regard to what they said. That explains things. He said he was cheating the system, yeah right ;-)

The class was alright and not too painful. Each of our 4 main team members all fell in each of the quadrants which I found interesting.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I nervously await word on what Rebecca thought of my fretted on animation. She loved it and had only minor changes. Phew.

By the end of the week I started to feel that anxious dread. On Friday however I started singing la-la-la in my head to drown out the self doubt and move past it. It seemed to work. That day I had to put on my creative hat and design something wonderful. I hemmed and hawed and procrastinated but as soon as I finally got started, it started to flow. Whether or not anyone else likes it, I don't care. Don't you like the turn around? ;-)

It is cold out. Zero degrees when I last looked. I never got out of my bathrobe, hunkering down. Hollace was sick with a sore throat and fever on Thursday and Friday but is fine now. I just made her write a note to Haley in Tennessee and you would of thought I was asking her to poke her eyes out with a fork. Oh the torture.

Posted by swardraws at 05:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It was a rough week mentally. At work I finally finished up the two big jobs that kept me busy for the last couple months. On Monday I got to relax. By Tuesday however, Jon passed off a "fun" job. A Flash animation which should of been fun but for some reason I began to get anxious about it.

I couldn't eat breakfast in the mornings over it. I felt the same way I did after 9-11. My stomach in a knot and no appetite. I can only explain it as chemical, I went out of whack. Now I am not out of the woods yet. I will probably find out on Tuesday that it sucks and that I suck. On Monday I am in training all day which is an anxiety attack in itself. The training is on communication. Jon who went on Friday said it was kind of intersting with only one role playing (what I am most anxious over).

On Thursday I was ready to throw in the towel on what I can cope on. I was stressing over the animation already when one of the big jobs I thought I put to bed was giving me grief and I was just not in the mood to troubleshoot it for Christine again so we had a long period on the phone of silence while she waited for me to say I would figure it out for her again.

Also during that day another bigger issue arose and it had nothing to do with my job.

Apparently RAW ran into the social worker at school. They have concerns with Hollace. They think it might be Asperger Syndrome, a form of autism. What!

I knew Hollace could use some help socializing. Especially with me as a her mother I often thought she was doomed in that department. I seen her struggling with the same things I did and still do.

At first I thought they were off base on that theory. Then I did a little research.

"The most distinguishing symptom of AS is a childâs obsessive interest in a single object or topic to the exclusion of any other." Can anyone say KIWI? That one was nailed. Lets see what else...sensory sensitivity. She won't wear jeans because they aren't confortable (a kid in her class already asked me why she never wears jeans.) That might also explain why she throws up over lumpy food. This week she complained that Brownies are to loud and the new lighted clock I got hurts her eyes. They typically are clumsy. They don't want to be bothered by anything that isn't in their interst (like I always said, Hollace can't be bothered by school)

With Hollace she is the sweetest, most loving child there could be...around us. I just read that could be a sign too. Dang. "...sometimes, the opposite problem occurs; the person with AS is unusually affectionate to significant others"

Around others I get the sense she seems a bit unpleasant. We went to Brownies this week. When we walked in a couple girls excitedly yelled Hollace!. Hollace just said a little unenthusiastic hi.

There were quite a few things on the list that Hollace exhibed. By the time I finished my quick research I was convinced that was my problem too. I often thought I was socially retarded not having a clue on how to be easy breezy like I desired. I called it shyness and it is and really that is all it could be in both of our cases.

Whether or not they label Hollace, it opens the door to get her some help which I have been wanting to do. I think she just needs "tools" on how to act or what to do in situations. Heck I need that but I really need to get her working on it ASAP before she gets branded the weird kid if it isn't already too late.

Another thing the social worker mentioned was there was this boy who was making fun of her bangs and she got angry and told him she would kill him. I have never ever heard her talk like that. They, knowing Hollace didn't take the threat seriously and didn't report it.

A meeting will be set up (soon I hope) and they will test her. We can go from there.

Posted by swardraws at 12:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)